LAST STEP BEFORE GOING FORWARD

I am still feeling a little blue, from yesterday, sadness when it happens in my life, takes a little longer than others, to get back up! Reflecting my life, is something I did all evening last night! Trying to see my future, is really hard and stressful! Relaxing and enjoying the ride, is something I will try to do! I want to just forget life, dating, and focus on J.R. and my career! I want to crawl up from under this dark room, and feel a blazing light shine upon me! Although, a good cry was something I needed, you see, I bottle everything up! I realized yesterday, I wasn't just crying about a friend, not wanting me. I was crying because of everything that has happened to me in the past year. All the deaths, I never cried about, everything, that I hold trapped in my heart. All the relationships that never worked out! All the tour, torture, I felt from my directors, and never cried about! All the gossip I heard someone say about me, that truly hurt my feelings, but I kept deep inside. All these things, lay trapped in me, and I never let them out! Yesterday was just the breaking point. The strong man, has broken down!

The rain hits Japan really hard today, and I know I have only one more thing left to do! One more thing, that will set me free from my sadness. Only one thing, can make me get up, and move from Tokyo to Hyogo, with a smile! Only this one thing, is left to do, and my heart is trying to take me away from the computer so I can do it! If you read my blog entries, and know anything about me, you know what I am about to do? If you don't, here is the answer to most of my problems! This thing is more powerful than my mom! This one thing is more comforting than any friend can ever be! PRAYER!!! GOD IS THE KEY, CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD. Now I have to run to my knee's with a little gospel music playing in the background, and close my eyes. I need to give my savior all the praise and glory, he so deserves. I need to tell him all my fears, pains, and stresses in my life. Nothing, can be done, and I can't feel whole without this one last step!