Dark Dark Evening!

The blinds are closed, lights are off, and the room is dark! Silence, nothing turned on, not the t.v., no music, and no computer! I lay there snuggled in that big bed in this hotel room! Trying to find a way to not be so non-emotional! Find a way out of not feeling anything at all! Laying still in the darkness, didn't pray (you know I should have) but in a very dark place! My mind races, and thinks even darker thoughts! Which lead me to my hormones racing, and taking me places I don't wanna go! I stop! I breathe, and move on from that dirty little thought! I get up, I turn on the computer, searching, for something to make me jump out of this dark mood! NOTHING! Still tons of darkness all around me! I hop back into the bed, and toss and turn for a couple hours! Sometimes staring at the ceiling, and thinking hard! Brain, and head racing, hoping the finish line is somewhere near me! Finally I fall deep a sleep!

It all begins with me being held hostage, and a bio chemical weapon pressed to my chest! I'm tough, and not screaming, not showing no fear. The world is going to end, and I'm the one, who can save it all! I'm sweating, deep in thought, I need to find away to escape these people! I kick a man in his face, the weapon falls, and suddenly I'm an amazing fighter! I'm kicking, punching, turning, as if I'm some superhero! I grab the weapon and run as fast as I can. Running, running, running, until I don't see any city any more, and the bomb disappears! I'm now in a jungle all alone, itchy, hot, thirsty, and tired! I go searching for water, and feeling overwhelmed with this whole dream. How the heck did I get here? What is going on? Is this reality? Out comes a wolf, and now things get interesting! Cause instead of running I'm fighting again, and man I am strong! Fighting for my life, and I win!!!! Nothing else happens, I wake up, the nightmare has ended, and I'm there, sitting, in my dark hotel room again!

I wake up and walk around the room, stressed, and not feeling relaxed at all! Still in the darkness, and begin to think about things I shouldn't! All the bad things I have ever done in my life! All the bad things I have ever said to people I love! Everything that was twisted, and evil, that I could have ever been apart of, comes racing to my head! A song comes to my mind! "We Fall Down, But We Get Up, We Fall Down, But We Get Up, We Fall Down, But We Get Up, For A Saint Is Just A Sinner Who Fell Down, And Got Up! I sing it a little bit to myself. Finally, it happens-- the cry, that was trapped somewhere inside of me, and wouldn't come out! Rolled down my face with fury, and things got brighter! The lights came on, and now today I am ready to begin!