I Must Be A Naughty Boy

So we flew threw a Typhoon, yesterday, to get from Tokyo to Hyogo, where I am now! We have one more week in Japan, and I am ready to go. I get in and have a nice talk and dinner with a friend/cast mate! It was an enjoyable evening, except for we are not in Tokyo anymore, and everyone stares at me like an alien! I mean I am stopping traffic at it's feet, men, women, children, everyone! I started to feel a little insecure, but I realize they have never seen anyone who looks like me in this small town.

I get back to my room, because I have a crazy weekend, and decided to call down stairs and get a massage. Excitied to lay back and relax, and to move all the stress out of my body! In to my room, comes this little Japanese Lady who reeked of cigarette smoke! That was so annoying, but she seemed so friendly, and was very gracious! She told me to lay facing downwards. Uh Ouch, she started right into my body, and damn she was strong. I like a strong massage, but wow, this women almost had me crying again! She said "This OK", I said "No", a little softer", "I want to relax". Her softer was no softer at all, OUCH OUCH OWWWW! I just took deep breaths, maybe all my knots will be gone afterward. In time it got better, right up until SLAP! Hold up what just happened?, I thought to myself! Another Slap, this women just slapped my ass! No she didn't! This has to be a nightmare..Slap! Oh no she just did it again! In shock, and thinking I must have been a naughty boy! Why do I deserve a spanking? What is going on here? I thought this was a massage! OUCH!!!!!! Later, after I started to relax and enjoy the massage with my eyes closed, I started to day dream about the slap of my ass. I lost it, and started cracking up! I laughed so hard, the Japanese lady was so confused. I am laying on the table cracking up, because she just spanked me! I kept saying I am sorry, but I couldn't stop laughing. I laughed so hard I was crying! I stop the massage,and said "Sorry Boo, I have to end this massage". Yes I called her Boo, LOL, because I just couldn't stop laughing! I think GOD wanted me to smile, and let out more emotions! So he sent a crazy Japanese lady to give me the worst massage of my life, and a good old fashion spanking!

Dear Friend

Dear Friends and Blogger Buddies

To you who have been so kind, and have encouraged me through out my life. I wanted to finally thank you, and I probably don't say it enough! I have so many friends, and at times of trial, I seem to realize even more how special you are! Thank you, so much, for making me laugh! Including you "Special Friend" who made me sad, you have challenged my life. I thank you for your support as well. You are amazing, and I called you lost friend, and you are not lost! You are always and will always be there for little J.R. To my other peeps, you know who you are, I hope I can do the same for you, that you have done for me and my spirit! I love you all! I know I am not always nice, and moody as heck! If you can handle all of that, you have to be a special person. LOL! You also know that when I love someone, as I do you, there is nothing I wouldn't do for my friends! I am loyal, Brutally honest, and hopefully inspirational! You guys, have given me, the same thing, and much more! May GOD bless and keep you, and until next time friends! Blogger Buddy's thanks for your support, even though, I have never met you, I appreciate your input whether positive or negative! Thank You Thank You Thank You!


Your Homie

J.R. Whittington

LAST STEP BEFORE GOING FORWARD

I am still feeling a little blue, from yesterday, sadness when it happens in my life, takes a little longer than others, to get back up! Reflecting my life, is something I did all evening last night! Trying to see my future, is really hard and stressful! Relaxing and enjoying the ride, is something I will try to do! I want to just forget life, dating, and focus on J.R. and my career! I want to crawl up from under this dark room, and feel a blazing light shine upon me! Although, a good cry was something I needed, you see, I bottle everything up! I realized yesterday, I wasn't just crying about a friend, not wanting me. I was crying because of everything that has happened to me in the past year. All the deaths, I never cried about, everything, that I hold trapped in my heart. All the relationships that never worked out! All the tour, torture, I felt from my directors, and never cried about! All the gossip I heard someone say about me, that truly hurt my feelings, but I kept deep inside. All these things, lay trapped in me, and I never let them out! Yesterday was just the breaking point. The strong man, has broken down!

The rain hits Japan really hard today, and I know I have only one more thing left to do! One more thing, that will set me free from my sadness. Only one thing, can make me get up, and move from Tokyo to Hyogo, with a smile! Only this one thing, is left to do, and my heart is trying to take me away from the computer so I can do it! If you read my blog entries, and know anything about me, you know what I am about to do? If you don't, here is the answer to most of my problems! This thing is more powerful than my mom! This one thing is more comforting than any friend can ever be! PRAYER!!! GOD IS THE KEY, CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD. Now I have to run to my knee's with a little gospel music playing in the background, and close my eyes. I need to give my savior all the praise and glory, he so deserves. I need to tell him all my fears, pains, and stresses in my life. Nothing, can be done, and I can't feel whole without this one last step!

I WILL SMILE TODAY IN HAPPINESS

Friends:

My friend last night called me out on a few things! I was being very insecure and petty, about a situation, and I respect my friend so much for making me see the light! I don't want to be that person, that hates on others, because of my own insecurities, and fears. This was something I thought about for a while! Thanks for having a friend, that I can trust to call me out!

Love:

Last night I saw two very special cast mates perform there original music, at a small little club in Japan! Not only did I enjoy the music, but the scene made me want to fall in love again! I came out of there with a new out look on life, and love! These two sang songs about love, one about missing her love. The other about the love that was standing right next to him. My face froze, my heat pounded, as tears slowly rolled down my cheek. The music was playing all through my body, and the sounds of there angelic voices roared through my heart! When it was all done, I realized I want to fall in love!!!

Lost a Friend:

For so long, I have had a small crush on a friend, OK a huge crush, LOL, which is a strange place to be in! Last night, I opened my heart, and told the friend how I felt! The friend, didn't respond the way I wanted them too. It was a very interesting exchange, the words, crushed my heart, and tore it into pieces! I lost a friend, but gained freedom! I feel free, I don't feel locked up anymore. I finally let the cat out of the bag! Although, it didn't turn out in my favor, I'm no longer locked to a secret, and strange feelings.

Happiness:

I am so happy today, because I have grown about 3 inches! Last night, the tears, and crushed heart. Now I am stronger than ever, and ready to move on with my life! GROWTH, growing, learning, transitioning!!!! GOD is an awesome GOD, and I know, all these trials and searching is for a good reason! I know that LOVE will come to me soon. I'm confident, that time heals everything! If you look at me from the outside today, you may see a tear, and you may see sadness, but underneath it all the growth equals happiness.

I WILL SMILE TODAY IN HAPPINESS

Make Me Alive!

Someone To Hold You To Close! Someone To Hurt You To Deep! Someone To Sit In Your Chair and Ruin Your Sleep!
Someone To Need You to Much! Someone To Know You To Well! Someone To Pull You Up Short! To Put You Through Hell!
Someone You Have To Let In! Someone Whose Feelings You Spare! Someone Who Like It or Not, Will Want You To Share A Little A Lot! Someone To Crowd You With Love. Someone To force You to Care! Someone Who Will Make You Come Through! Will Always Be There as Frightened as you, of being alive!!!! BEING ALIVE!

SOMEBODY HOLD ME TO CLOSE, SOMEBODY HURT ME TO DEEP! SOMEBODY SIT IN MY CHAIR, AND RUIN MY SLEEP AND MAKE ME AWARE OF BEING ALIVE. SOMEBODY NEED ME TO MUCH. SOMEBODY KNOW ME TO WELL, SOMEBODY PULL ME UP SHORT AND PUT ME THROUGH HELL, AND GIVE ME SUPPORT, FOR BEING ALIVE. MAKE ME ALIVE! MAKE ME ALIVE! MAKE ME CONFUSED. MOCKED WITH PRAISE! LET ME BE USED! VARY MY DAYS! BUT ALONE IS ALONE! NOT ALIVE!

SOMEBODY CROWD ME LOVE, SOMEBODY FORCE ME TO CARE. SOMEBODY LET ME COME THROUGH! I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE AS FRIGHTENED AS YOU TO HELP US SURVIVE! BEING ALIVE! BEING ALIVE! BEING ALIVE!

Written by Stephen Sondheim:

That is how I feel today! Just thought I should let you bloggers in on it!

NO Way, I'm Not Eating That

My friend Michael came to town all the way from Boston, just to see me, well, to see Japan! I wish it was just to see me, but I'm sure I'm part of the equation some how! Well, he was very jet lagged, and I wanted to make him attempt to stay up to get on schedule, because he has a very short time here in Japan. I decided, because he was hungry, and so was I, to go out and find us a restaurant that caught our eyes. He picked one that looked kinda of interesting, but as soon as we walked inside I said "This place stinks"! He said " I don't smell anything, and let's just try it"! So we sit down, for our meals, and the waitress comes over, and doesn't speak any English. We point to a dish that looks like in the picture, some chicken! We say "Chicken"? and she says "No heal and Foot of cow! I said "Oh Hell No"! Then we found another picture that looked like pork, and we said "Pork"? She proceeded to pull out her tongue and point to it, then close her mouth, and say "Tongue"! I grab my bag and wallet. I point to the door, and walk swiftly out of there. All they could see was ass and elbows, cause that is how fast I ran out of that door!

I Want To Use a Fork Please!

OK this blog entry is going to be real random, but I have to write briefly about it! I don't want no rice, I don't want no fish, and I don't want anything that resembles Asian cuisine! UGH!!!!!! I think I'm turning into a sushi roll! I also don't want no Pringles that taste like an American hamburger, or New York City hot dog! What about plain Pringles or Sour Cream and Onion? I don't want to guess what kind of meat I'm biting into! I definitely don't want an egg with every meal! I want to use a fork please!!!!!