It's NEW YEARS EVE!!!!

Still can't believe it's the last day of 2009! Out with the old, in with the new! New year, new decade! Have fun tonight! Let's bring 2010 in with a BANG!!

xx.

M

The Princess and The Frog

So many African Americans went to this movie, and blogged/complained about this short beautiful tale. African American Adults wanted so much out of this movie, because it is the first African American Princess. I hesitated on writing my blog entry, because I didn't want to be an adult male as the reviewer. I wanted this review to come from my nieces, who this movie is for, young African American children. Sorry you adults, your opinion (in my opinion) IS NOT VALID!!!!!!!

My nieces, danced in there seats, sang some of the songs (off key) and loved every moment of this tale! To quote my oldest niece at eight years old Diamond-Jay said "Tiana is so beautiful, and she looks like me"! "I want to be her, this halloween"! My smallest niece I must admit did fidget a bit, but fell in love with this tale as well! She laughed hard at the jokes, and smiled the biggest smile ever. They even had there dorky uncle James dancing along with them in my seat! They got to see themselves represented on screen, in a beautiful disney tale, that even uncle James can't wait to own. I even cried some tears of joy at the end of the piece, OK OK, I am a big old sap! I will admit though my one niece did say "Alvin and The Chipmunks the sequel was better, but she still loves Tiana"! Well, there you have it folks, no matter what people say, the Kids loved the movie! Who cares what the adults think, because it really isn't for them anyway!

Ring in the New Year!

With the last week of 2009 having officially begun (Can you beliiiiieveeeee in four days it will be 2010? Someone please tell me where time has gone!!!!), I thought it would be appropriate to usher in the new year with a new style! The Digit Ring. I have been absolutly pining over these rings that go on the top halves of your fingers, or your "digits," ever since the Olsen twins were caught wearing them (I wore a really small one in my first shoot back on my 11/9 post). Lucky for me, I ran into the designer behind the new jewlery line Sarah Davida. She has been disigning these cute little baby-sized rings, which she calls "mid-finger cuff rings," for quite a while now after discovering them "by accident" when wearing scraps of the sterling silver she was using while taking a metalsmithing course. Good thing she did, because these bad boys are going to be the newest rage and I'm already ordering a few custom-engraved rings from her! They look sick stacked with all of your good old ordinary rings. Totally the new accessory!!!

Check out the Sarah Davida Website here

Check out the Sarah Davida Blog here

If you're interested in getting your fingers on, or should i say...your mid-fingers on...these custom-made and engraved rings, contact me or go here

xx.

M

My Job As Santa!

I went down stairs to help put all the toys under the tree, for my spoiled, cute, intelligent, beautiful, nieces. However, I ended up sitting there, because my sister had it all arranged in her head, and wanted to do it herself. Like the peanut gallery, I sat and commented on every present/toy, that went under the tree. Watching the placement, as my sister, meticulously placed everything in it's proper position. I thought about the story I told my nieces, about, getting a piece of black coal for Christmas, if they were bad this year! Telling them that Santa only brings toys to good kids. Watching how scared they were, before they went to bed, made me laugh, and was priceless. I know, BAD UNCLE!!!!!! I'm excited about the early a.m., and watching there beautiful faces light up, as they run to the tree! OOOO, how can I forget the whole reason for this blog entry. I had one job, and that was to take a bite of the Cookie, and drink some of the milk, they left for Santa. I hope I did a good job, it was tough, cause that cookie was good, and I almost ate the whole thing!

HOME

When i think of home, I think of a place, where there is love over flowing! That is such an amazing first sentence, I wish I actually wrote it, and it wasn't lyrics from "The Wiz"! I am home right now in Pittsburgh, and smiling from ear to ear! My nieces, my dog, my family, the big old Christmas tree, the presents under the tree! The smell of the Pittsburgh air, the cars covered in snow! I love coming home, as I never had a chance to be home for the holidays, in over eight years. I am always working on Christmas, but this year, I am unemployed, and taking advantage of my family! I probably won't blog as much this week my blog family, as I am going to enjoy this holiday week, eating, no gym, no stress, no blogs, just me and my family! I wish all of you bloggers that read my blog, a Happy Holidays!

Much Love

J.R.

Happy Holidays!!!!

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!! A Life of Style will return the week of January 4, 2010.


Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Kwaanza.

Enjoy the holiday season and see you next year!

Homeless v.s. Bum v.s. Wine Head!

How do you tell the difference between a homeless person, a bum, or a wine head? I have a serious problem with this, because you see I want to give to the world, and those in need! However I don't want to support a drug habit or someone who won't use the money for the right reasons! I gave up recently on giving to the people on the train or the streets. I felt so guilty lately saying no, when I'm blessed with so much! I'm like the Rosie O'donnell of the world, well, the poor version, and want to give, give, and give until no one is out on the streets. I wish there was a way to tell if your money is going for good or not? Back in the day I loved the people standing with the gimmick signs "Give Me a Dollar For Some Weed" signs! This would make me laugh, and I would think at least they are being honest! I would give them money, now I despise there honesty, because GO GET HELP, AND MAYBE YOU CAN GET OFF THESE STREETS! Or was this just a gimmick to get money for other things, like food....UGH!!!!!

My guilt is getting bad, but I'm learning to deal with it! Yesterday GOD knew I was feeling bad, and decided to step in and help me a little. I was ordering Chinese food from the corner Chinese restaurant! A homeless man looked at me in my eyes and pointed at me! I said "me" he nodded "yes". He put his head in the door and said "sorry sir, but I'm hungry, will you order me four chicken wings"! A big smile came over my face, and I said "Of course, come on in"! He said to me "Is this too much to ask for, can you afford it, I will just take an egg roll, if you can't afford the wings"!? I smiled even bigger "No, I can afford it"! Now this is the kind of a man, that I knew definitely didn't want alcohol or drugs! He was actually really hungry, and asked, exactly for what he wanted. I gave him more of course, four wings, shrimp fried rice, and an egg roll! Thank GOD for stepping in, and letting me help someone who looked so happy, and blessed by my actions! I watched a little as he tore through that food and finally said "Happy Holidays, and thank you so much sir, mmmmmm, this is so good"!

Movie Suggestions

I have been to a ton of movies in the last two weeks, because this is my favorite season for the movies. I'm hardly even finished, with my movie going! With The Golden Globes, The SAG Awards, and Oscars around the corner, I have to see as much as possible. Now is the time when all of the no frills, great acting, movies are released. I go to the gym, and when i come out, I walk down to the movies! Here are some of my movie thoughts, thus, far:

The Brothers

Jake Gyllenhaal, and Toby Mcquire are superb actors, and there performances are worth seeing! However, the movie itself is not so good. All the best parts of the movie you see on the previews, which I hate when they give to much away. The ending of the movie for me, was very disappointing! I thought to myself "is this it"? There is a new star in our midst in this movie, and her name is Bailee Madison. This little girl is the new child actress of our future, and she does some beautiful work in this flick!

Everybody Fine

I said, when I saw the previews for this movie, that I would rent it. It did not look that interesting to me. Why did I leave this movie filled with tears, and loving this simple story. It was so beautiful and Robert De Niro is brilliant as always. Such a tender role, and his mannerism was so familiar to me. I know this lonely old guy, and his performance was so touching! Such a sweet beautiful movie!

Precious

Well you know I already talked about Precious, and you have to know that this is the best movie of this year, hands down. I don't know if anything will touch this movie for me, but the race is still on! Monique's performance alone is worth more than the twelve dollars and fifty cents you pay in New York City for a movie! This movie is so heart wrenching, and you have to go with your Kleenex box ready at your arm at all times.

A Single Man

One of the most beautiful movies that I have ever seen, However, so dark, but simple and pure. Colin Firth gives a gorgeous performance! The supporting actors in it, are all super models in there looks, but so talented. The style and mood of the film is so artsy, and I enjoyed the feeling of the direction. I can't forget one of the best actresses who has been robbed in years to past, of an Oscar, (Being Julia) in my opinion Mrs. Julianne Moore! Her performance is stellar as well!

An Education

A must see at the movie theaters. I loved this tale, and all the performances were astounding! There is nothing more to say but go see this movie!

Up In The Air

I didn't care, and critics love this movie! People are obsessed, and it got nominated for so many awards already. I was bored, I found myself checking my facebook during this movie! Looking into space, wondering when it was going to end. I predicted most of the movie actually! BORING!!!! I can see how people find this movie interesting, but an award winner???? Hmmm, maybe it is just me, but I have to pass. George Clooney was great as always! I hated Anna Kendrick in this movie, and found her acting to be so NOT honest!!!!!! She could have made some of the funny choices she made, and it would have been better, if she believed them! HIDEOUS! On a happy note Vera Farmiga was so amazing and captivating on screen. Go see this movie at your own risk, I predict many awards for it, but I will be watching in disappointment!

Christmas at The White House A Surprise Revelation for me!

Joining Oprah and the first family through the beautiful White House, was an amazing experience for me. First of all, I'm in love with there dog Bo, and wanted him for myself asap! He was the sweetest dog, I had ever seen. The house was really beautiful, and I couldn't even imagine, living in that house at the holidays! How could you not be in the Christmas spirit every single day? A warm fuzzy feeling, grazed my body as I watched this stunning special on t.v. The interesting thing about the interview with the Obama family, was that I felt like I was watching my Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, or somebody I knew on the screen. There mannerisms, they way they spoke, there sense of humor. I know this sounds cliche, but now I understand more than ever, how important having the first family being an African American family, is to "us" as a culture. As you know, I never dreamed of this happening, and I'm all about may the best man or women win. I always knew that this was a special event, but the Christmas Special sent me over the edge. Wow, I can relate, to that person up there. If he can do it, so can my kids, cousins or any of my family members! The impossible dream, is now not so impossible anymore. Is this how Caucasians felt for years? Is this the feeling that was probably taken for granted? WOW, is this why Caucasian people felt relaxed in today's society? They got to sit at the most powerful seat for years, and also never felt like they couldn't reach and have what ever they wanted out of this life? This door has opened up for me, and I'm always one to try and break down a door! I'm glad I'm strong, but blessed to know that other young African Americans are watching, and feeling the exact same way! My wish now is that, other cultures: Latino Americans, Asian Americans etc. get to have the same feeling I'm having now someday!

A Life of Style & The Kreativ Blogger Award

I'm WAY behind on my blogging game and I will get better. I promise.

I am a major Twitter addict. It's my favorite social networking site. My tweeps (people I follow) are some of the most creative, positive, and motivating in Twitterland. One of my favorite stylish Tweeps, The Style Master, nominated me for a Kreativ Blogger award last month (Hush! I said I was behind on my blogging game. #dontjudgeme)

Thanks Style Master for the award!!!

When a blogger receives the Kreativ Blogger award they have to:

1. List 7 things that you don’t already know about me.

2. Name 7 other blogs to receive this award.

3. Leave a comment on each of the blogs I nominated.

4. Thank the person who gave you the award.

7 things you MAY NOT know about me:

1. I listen to all genres of music. If my iPod is on shuffle you'll get a mix of Jay-Z, Hector Lavoe, vintage Diana Ross, Vivaldi, Michael Jackson, Pearl Jam, Snoop, Bebel Gilberto, Ryan Leslie... You get the point. I love music. Good music that is.

2. After every yoga class, I fall asleep. Not just a short nap but a deep sleep. So much for reaching my zen, lol!

3. As much as I love makeup, I'm no expert at application. I usually have my face done at a MAC or Nars counter for special events.

4. There's a good chance I'm the only Chicagoan with zero home town love or loyalty. Honestly Chicago does nothing for me *Kanye shrug*

5. I sometimes google old boyfriends and cackle with delight at how pathetic their lives are.

6. Last month I thought an apartment in my building was being broken into and I was impressed with how quickly I reacted. I grabbed a basket of magazines and tipped it over in front of the door. I grabbed my purse, cell phone, and Minnie Mouse blanket and hid inside my walk-in closet. I called 911 and was told that someone already called. Luckily it wasn't a break-in just a domestic dispute. While I was in the closet, I envisioned myself going all Charlie's Angels on the robbers. A flying kick here, a throat punch there. Yeah, 100% bad ass! Lol!

7. I'm a perfectionist and a control freak. Some see those traits as flaws, I think they're personality quirks that keep me on my toes always striving for the best.

Okay, I'm giving awarding the Kreativ Blogger Award to:

Haute & Hair (@TrendySocialte) - My BFF. This chica knows hair!

ChiTown Fashionista (@ShoeLovaDotCom) - Fellow Chicago blogger just as fashion obsessed as I am.

The Art of Accessories (@TheAofA) - Great blog about accesorizing to compliment your personal style.

Haute Travels (@HauteTravels) -The best mix of beauty, fashion, and travel in a blog.

LuxeTips (@LuxeTips) - Tips on living the luxe life written by a luxe mom on the go.

Mischo Beauty (@MischoBeauty) - Great site for beauty, skin, and hair information.

Fatback & Sushi (@RuralGlamour) - A quirky lifestyle blog with a unique twist.

The Windy City Winter Blues

It is officially winter in the wonderful Windy City aka Chicago. Frigid air, snow, and freezing rain brings on the winter blues. I get a bad case every year. Every time, I put on my many layers of clothing and top it all off with my heavy down coat, a little piece of my soul dies. I'm totally kidding but I do get a little annoyed. Despite the bone chilling cold, life must go on. There are still doctor's appointments, salon visits, job interviews and other social committments to attend. I find that the key to battling the winter blues is a creating a comfortable and warm home environment.

My comfortable warm home environment consists of my heat being on 70+, my favorite blanket (soon to be replaced by a pink Snuggie or a KN Kozy), a good book, a stack of magazines, or a DVD. I enjoy all of these while curled up on my sofa and sipping hot chocolate. My favorite is Mexican Hot Chocolate which I plan to make sans a mix one day.

Here's a recipe for Mexican Hot Chocolate from Epicurious:

Ingredients:

2 cups reduced-fat (2 percent) evaporated milk
1/2 cup whole milk
1/2 cup chocolate liqueur
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ancho chili powder
10 cinnamon sticks
1 dried red chile
2 1/2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, broken into pieces
1/4 cup heavy whipping

Preparation:

Whisk evaporated milk, whole milk, liqueur, vanilla, sugar, cocoa, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon and chili powder in a heavy saucepan. Add 2 of the cinnamon sticks and chile and cook gently over medium-low heat until warm. Add chocolate and cook, whisking until melted. Gently bring to a high simmer; reduce heat and simmer until liquid thickens and reduces slightly, whisking often, 10 minutes. Combine heavy cream with remaining 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and beat until peaks form. Ladle 1/3 cup hot cocoa into each of 8 teacups; top with 1 tablespoon whipped cream and garnish with a cinnamon stick

If that's too much work, just order the Mexican Hot Cocoa mix from Moonstruck Chocolate. Enjoy in your favorite large mug, grab the latest issue of Vogue or Harper's Bazaar, and shut the cold city out.

picture courtesy of Epicurious.com

Restroom

So I got a massage in New York City, which, happened to be amazing by the way! I had to go wee wee, so I went into the little boys room, and this sign was up! Do you find this funny? I sure didn't, well, I guess they attempted some humor! I think they would be better off without the humor! If you have a chance, also take a gander at the last sentence! I think that is more funny than the joke! Just wanted to share with you blog world!

The Soap Opera Dies

I'm sure many of you who have read my blog know how I one day dreamed of being on a soap opera! It is very interesting, how that dream is dying, as well, as how fast the soap opera is fading away into the dust! I always wanted to be a soap star who does musical theater once in a while! That sounds like the ideal life, you get to do scene work everyday, and take a break sometimes to sing and dance on Broadway! For someone like me who loves a challenge and is all about the work, this would have been ideal. You can also be a celebrity, and not lose your life!! I'm sad to say, it seems the soap opera is dying a slow death. "All My Children", just moved to L.A. on Friday, leaving New York City in the dust. "The Guiding Light", light is turned off, as it left New York City, like three months ago, and is now off the air! Now I just heard "As The World Turns", the world will not be turning anymore, and it is closing the end of this year! Leaving New York City with only one soap opera left, "One Life To Live"!!!! That sucks big time for all of us New York City actors, leaving us with no soap opera work to be had! Killing my dream, and stamping it's big toe all over it, and smashing that dream into shattered pieces! Well, there are some soap operas such as "General Hospital", "All My Children", and "The Young and The Restless", and all filmed in LA... I guess I can still be a soap star, but how do I do double duty??? I can't be on a soap and Broadway from the West Coast? I guess I need to dream bigger???? I'm OK with that, because the world is at my feet to be had! Poor Poor Poor Soap Opera folks out of work!!!!! How much longer does the hit soap operas have? Are they all doomed to death? This is crazy, do housewives not watch soaps during the day any more? What is going on? Well, at the least, I can say the only soap opera that I still admittedly watch, is still on the air, and going strong. I would have to move to L.A. for that dream, but I can still have it in the back of my head. Oh, if you don't know, that is "The Young and The Restless", yes I admit it, I watch it almost everyday!!!!!

Proud, Happy, Tears!

Last night, I went to the theater to see friends on stage, perform for there lives! It was amazing to go back to a show, that I have seen before, and see it again, but this time with many friends on that stage! The piece of work I saw was "In The Heights", and I enjoyed it more the second time, then I did my first go around! The energy of the show is so fresh and great. You feel like everyone up there wants to be on that stage. Well, mostly everyone, there where a couple of people I saw marking, but not many, and for the most part the joy of the piece was there. "In The Heights" is such a simple tale, and in this case--less is more--works for me! I truly enjoyed Javier Munoz performance, you would think it would be hard to be a replacement (with big shoes to fill) in that show, but he was superb. Chris Jackson and Robin De Jesus, was brilliant as always! Olga Merediz, and Andrea Burns are always top notch!!!! There was one casting choice I would have done without, but I won't mention it, and I will keep it to myself, however, SHE was fine, but I'm sure there was better out there. That is all I will say!

Now one of my x-cast members (Gabrielle Ruiz) who played Diana on the national tour of A Chorus Line is an understudy in the show! She was on for Nina the lead last night! When she walked out on that stage, I got so nervous for her. I don't know why, cause I know how extremely talented she is! She opened her mouth to sing, and heaven came out of her voice! She sounded so pure, so strong, so amazing. My eyes began to swell up like a proud dad. You see this is her dream show, and she talked about how she wanted to play Nina so badly while she was in A Chorus Line! To actually see her make her Broadway Debut, and to see first hand, everything she talked about come to life on that stage. Has touched me in so many ways, that I can't even express. She was beautiful, and triumphant last night, and I'm very proud of her.

Secondly our Paul from the A Chorus Line tour, (Kevin Santos) is also an understudy, but he was in the ensemble of the show last night. It was great to see him up on that stage. He danced so beautifully, and his presence was stellar and star studded as always. There was a scene in particular, when he wears this "smooth criminal" suit, and the grandma is singing her face off, and I couldn't keep my eyes off his lines, and the way he moved. BRAVO!!!!! I say "BRAVO"!!!!!

Lastly, a dear friend of mine from "Mamma Mia", (Rick Negron) who has many Broadway credits, is now playing the dad "In The Heights", and it was great to see him..I expected him to be the star that he is, because he is so seasoned, and gifted. It was amazing to see his work in this show, because he too, during the "Mamma Mia" days, talked about how he wanted this. Here he is making it happen, and that was awesome!

I am so proud and inspired by the theater once again, and it is good to see friends, and watch before my very eyes there dreams come true! I also had a couple other friends in the ensemble, that I don't want to forget, they were beautiful as well on stage! The show as a whole still has so much heart. The cast is stellar, and I suggest everyone to go see "In The Heights"!

match.com update

OK my friends keeping asking me how is match.com going for me? Well, here is your update on my online love life! I hated every second of it, and it didn't turn out to be something I personally wanted to do. I deleted my account, and am no longer looking for love on line! It is just not my kind of thing, and it was time to stop waisting my time. I think this was a great revelation at this point of my life. I am so focused, on me, and my career, that a love life will have to be on hold. Well there you have it, MATCH.com is not for me.

A Life of Style: I'm Cocoa Buttery

My nemesis, winter has arrived to spread bitter cold and icy air all over the city of Chicago.

Gotta love Midwest living...

This winter I am fighting dry skin with cocoa butter. Palmer's Cocoa Butter is a long time favorite product. I slather it on while my skin is slightly damp and rub it in very well. Then I breathe in all that warm cocoa buttery scent. Aaaahhh...

Next I spray on CVS Pharmacy Cocoa Butter Dry Oil Spray. This helps seal the moisture in and is a great way to layer all that wonderful cocoa loveliness.

My skin stays smooth and moisturized throughout the whole day.

Stay Cocoa Butterlicious!

(p.s. pay no attention to my cluttered bathroom shelves. I'm a product junkie.)

A Life of Style: What The Pink Slip Fashionista Wore

Soooo.... I have officially been unemployed for one year. I am bored and well past ready to go back to work. Major cubicle withdrawals and missing office camaraderie. I just need someone to HIRE ME but first I need the phone to ring for an interview, but that's another post.



Despite the fact that I'm not working, I still get dressed everyday. Blue jeans have become my everyday go to wardrobe staple. I have over sixty pairs so I can rotate quite often. I find that jeans are very easy to create various looks, just change the top and accessories. Perhaps I've gotten a little lazy with my style - who could blame me? Despite that, I think I manage to look very cute and never frumpy or boring.



Viva la blue jeans!!!





out of work fashonista by citydiva19 featuring Gucci bags

'>That's today's outfit. I have some errands to run and I'm meeting a friend for lunch in an hour.

Tamara Tunie

Like me Tamara Tunie is born and raised in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania! I met her mother the other night, she was with a friend of mine going to see the musical "Girl Crazy" at encores! Her mom was so sweet, with such a beautiful light around her, and great energy! The weird thing was I had been meaning to blog about Tamara Tunie, she had been in "my blog ideas" for a while now! After meeting her mother, I knew it was time to finally write about this talented actress that I admire! Now, oddly enough, with as many mutual friends as we have, I have never met Tamara Tunie, but I'm sure it will happen in the near future! The genius part about Tamara's career, is that you may see her in a movie, on a soap, on T.V. and on Broadway at any time. She is also a silent producer, such as producing shows like Spring Awakenings! This women is smart, and has her hands all over New York City! This is the career I only strive for. At one point Tamara was in the concert production of Dreamgirls playing Michelle, also, on As The World Turns, as a principal, and at the same time on Law Order SVU! A show that you can still see her on. I was in amazement, at all the shows she was in at once. Did she have a life? How did she do it all at the same time? I have so many questions for the beautiful star?? Well, I just wanted to introduce you blog world to another talented actress! With a life I dream of someday having, I say hat's off to Tamara Tunie!!!!!

My Heart Was Happy

Yesterday as I got on the train I felt my heart get filled up with love, and I couldn't help but stare at some amazing New York City simple events! I saw a dad, pushing a stroller, and he had his little daughter and son! Something about seeing a dad take care of his two children, pulled at my heart strings. I watched the masculine man, push the stroller, listened to the roar of his New York City voice, and loved the precious moments he spent with his children. I think this gets me every time because I never had a dad growing up. It was always just me and my strong beautiful mother (Trudy)! When they got on the train, I watched out of the corner of my eye, in envy, in awe, as he played with the kids, explaining the New York City transit map to them, and just gave them all the love in the world. This made my heart very happy!

Then I got off the train to the gym, and was doing my workout! I was sweating, and not really wanting to be there, I kept day dreaming. I looked in one of the aerobic work out rooms, and inside I saw a Big Latino Man, ballroom dancing with an African American Male. I stopped, looked, and gagged, at how good they were. My eyes were mesmerized on the foot work, and the beauty, but yet the oddness of two men partnering each other! The big Latino man was the leader, and the skinny African American boy followed, as he turned, kicked, lunged, and dropped that head back to the ground in a layout. It was so stunning to watch, and motivated me for the rest of my work out. This made my heart very happy!

Lastly, I got back on the train to go back home, because I had a whole lot of homework to do, like learning this new monologue, Christmas cards, and learning some new music for my audition book! This time I got on the train upset, because it was so crowded and had to stand up. Ugh, I didn't want to stand, but right below was a little boy around 6 years old, and his mother. Nothing out of the ordinary about that, I watched them a little, and it was your normal mother/son relationship. Then about 10 minutes into the ride, the other mother grabbed the boys leg, and start playing in his hair. Oh, I didn't even know she was with them, I thought she was just another passenger on the train! This was a beautiful thing to behold, two moms taking caring of there son! My heart was very happy!

I Am Not Perfect And I Hate It!

I have a serious problem of wanting to be perfect at everything I do! This will definetely become a problem when I start my acting class at the end of January! UGH! Why am I such a perfectionist? Why do I work so hard at making it right? Why do I get frustrated when I can't get it the first time around? Yesterday in my voice lesson, when I couldn't sing, (OK I'm exagaratting) but I didn't sing my best! I got so upset with myself, and went home and practiced, practiced, practiced, practiced until my vocal chords was on the floor, and I could barely sing anymore. What???? They say practice makes perfect? Right? Then at the gym today, I couldn't get an excercise my traininer was teaching! I couldn't do it? My heart raced, my mind raced, and couldn 't grasp at the idea that it wasn't happening? I kept trying, and my trainer encouraged me by saying" in time, I will be able to do it and, that I just need to work on my core more". But I was not happy with it, and it ate at me the whole day! UGH! I hate this perfectionist side, wish me luck, and I hope I can breathe through it!